Rozey Thorn Trees

My one-year-old is trying out stand-up: Dada. Yeah? Knock knock. Who's there? Hahahahaha!.... She's a natural:  So funny she knocked out the punchline. 😅

While I'm prepping the car for a class field trip: Student: Does your car have missiles that come out of your tires and can fire at other cars? Me: Only on odd days. Student: Is today an odd day?! Me: It's the 22nd. Student: Oh. 😔

"I hope there's a party at the party!" –  my fun-loving 3-year-old (you know the type)

On the bright side, my wife expects that the CDC will report a downtick of infectious diseases with Michigan effectively quarantined for a week!

"The biggest big business in America is not steel, automobiles, or television. It is the manufacture, refinement and distribution of anxiety." --Eric Sevareid

In class today, a student demonstrated how to make ice cream by shaking up 1/2 cup of Half-and-Half, 1/2 cup of whole milk, 2 Tbsp of sugar, and 1 tsp of vanilla extract in a small freezer bag within a larger Ziploc bag filled with ice cubes and 6 Tbsp of rock salt, for about 8 minutes. Me: How much Half-and-Half and how much whole milk? Student: A half a cup of Half-and-Half and a half a cup of whole milk. Me: (with a straight face) So half Half-n-Half; half whole? Student: ??? Me: You have half Half-n-Half; half whole? Student: 😩 Class: 😣 (Don't feel bad for my students. I'm the one who ended up shaking the bag!)

FYI: "In Korea, everyone is 1 from the time they are born. And everyone gets a year older on New Year's day. So your Korean age is always either one or two years older than your Western age."

As I was trying on an ugly Christmas sweater at a discount rack at Meijer... 7yr: Is that for ugly sweater day next year? Me: Yes...It fits! What do you think? 7yr: Umm, I don't think it's going to fit next year. Me: Huh? 7yr: Because you grow. Me: Uhh. I grow?! 7yr: My clothes won't fit me next year either because I'll grow. Everybody grows.... (Sooo, no, I didn't buy the Frosty the Snowman hoody jacket with the black top hat.)

Me: Do you want to go on a daddy-daughter date with me? 3yr: A daddy-daughter date? Me: Yes. Just you and me. 3yr: Yes! Mommy, I get to go on a daughty date with Daddy! Laura: A daughty date? Is that daughter plus naughty! Me: I didn't say that, haha!... P.S. We went to the germ tree at the Rivertown Mall, rode the carousel at the food court, went up and down escalators more than necessary, then got groceries at Aldi's. My 3-year-old rated our daughty date a success! No sugar required : )

7yr: I'm afraid of goats. What are you afraid of? Laura: I'm afraid of heights. 7yr: I'm also afraid of clowns. What are you afraid of, Daddy? Me: (under my breath) I'm afraid of the dark abyss that comes after death. 7yr: I can't hear you. Laura: Daddy's being inappropriate. 7yr: What are you afraid of? Me: Uhh, I'm afraid of getting Mommy angry, haha...