Rozey Thorn Trees

On the bright side, my wife expects that the CDC will report a downtick of infectious diseases with Michigan effectively quarantined for a week!

"The biggest big business in America is not steel, automobiles, or television. It is the manufacture, refinement and distribution of anxiety." --Eric Sevareid

In class today, a student demonstrated how to make ice cream by shaking up 1/2 cup of Half-and-Half, 1/2 cup of whole milk, 2 Tbsp of sugar, and 1 tsp of vanilla extract in a small freezer bag within a larger Ziploc bag filled with ice cubes and 6 Tbsp of rock salt, for about 8 minutes. Me: How much Half-and-Half and how much whole milk? Student: A half a cup of Half-and-Half and a half a cup of whole milk. Me: (with a straight face) So half Half-n-Half; half whole? Student: ??? Me: You have half Half-n-Half; half whole? Student: 😩 Class: 😣 (Don't feel bad for my students. I'm the one who ended up shaking the bag!)

FYI: "In Korea, everyone is 1 from the time they are born. And everyone gets a year older on New Year's day. So your Korean age is always either one or two years older than your Western age."

As I was trying on an ugly Christmas sweater at a discount rack at Meijer... 7yr: Is that for ugly sweater day next year? Me: Yes...It fits! What do you think? 7yr: Umm, I don't think it's going to fit next year. Me: Huh? 7yr: Because you grow. Me: Uhh. I grow?! 7yr: My clothes won't fit me next year either because I'll grow. Everybody grows.... (Sooo, no, I didn't buy the Frosty the Snowman hoody jacket with the black top hat.)

Me: Do you want to go on a daddy-daughter date with me? 3yr: A daddy-daughter date? Me: Yes. Just you and me. 3yr: Yes! Mommy, I get to go on a daughty date with Daddy! Laura: A daughty date? Is that daughter plus naughty! Me: I didn't say that, haha!... P.S. We went to the germ tree at the Rivertown Mall, rode the carousel at the food court, went up and down escalators more than necessary, then got groceries at Aldi's. My 3-year-old rated our daughty date a success! No sugar required : )

7yr: I'm afraid of goats. What are you afraid of? Laura: I'm afraid of heights. 7yr: I'm also afraid of clowns. What are you afraid of, Daddy? Me: (under my breath) I'm afraid of the dark abyss that comes after death. 7yr: I can't hear you. Laura: Daddy's being inappropriate. 7yr: What are you afraid of? Me: Uhh, I'm afraid of getting Mommy angry, haha...

3yr: I won, Sophia. You lost. 7yr: That's not a nice thing to say to people, Thalia. You shouldn't brag about winning and other people losing. Would you like it if I said that to you, I won, you lost, I won, you lost, over and over again? I don't think so. 3yr: (pause) Yeah. But I winned. 7yr: (big sister sigh)

While Mommy is getting ready for a girls' night out tonight: 3yr: Are we going to have a really nice time tonight, Daddy? Me: I prefer to have a nice time rather than the alternative! 3yr: I mean are you going to play games with us and give us nice treats? Me: Yes! As soon as Mommy leaves: 3yr: When are you going to give us the naughty treats? Me: Naughty treats? I thought you were asking for nice treats earlier. 3yr: No! I want to eat naughty treats, not nice treats! Like ice cream and chocolate and cookies... Wow, this girl knows how to work the system when Daddy's on watch, haha!

3yr: Freya is being mean to me! Me: What did she do? 3yr: She won't do what I say! Me: What are you saying to her? 3yr: I'm her teacher, and I have sooo many things to teach her! But she won't listen!... (I feel your pain, girl.)