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Showing posts from February, 2020

Scoring Dinner Points!

A delicious chicken fajita dinner is served... 4yr: (Australian accent) Mmm! I give it a 9 out of 10 points! 8yr: I give it an 8 out of 10 points! 2yr: I give it a 2 out of Mama!... Laura: I don’t think I like them watching cooking shows before dinner. Me: I give you a perfect 10.

Outta This World!

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2yr: Daddy, my shirt says, “Daddy is outta his world!” 4yr: No, it’s not his world. It’s God’s world! Me: Hahaha... (I may be outta my mind sometimes...no reason)

Happy Leap Month Calendar

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Me: Today is the last day of February! 8yr: Hmm, I’m still on January... I thought she had made a clever kid-quip until she clarified that I hadn’t flipped her out-of-reach motivational wall calendar since January. Oops. Fixed it.

Emergency!

8yr: Daddy, come to my room! Come quick! Me: I’m sick, honey. Is it important? I don’t feel good. 8yr: It’s an emergency! Me: An emergency? (I crawl out of bed.) What happened? 8yr: It’s a party! Me: 🀨 8yr: A dance party! πŸŽ‰πŸ€©πŸŽŠ Me: 😠 (I crawl back into bed.) 8yr: When’s Mommy going to be home?...

Chef Daddy

Mommy’s at work and my chef dad ratings have hit an all new low. Me: Girls, come eat your vegetables! 4yr: But I’m full. Me: Mommy said make sure you eat your veggies. 2yr: Yuck. 4yr: It’s too salty! Me: Eat it with a little salsa. 4yr: Yuck. 8yr: It’s really salty still. Me: Eat it with the fries. Salt tastes good with fries. 8yr: Okay. 4yr: I’m getting used to it now. I can almost eat it without plugging my nose. 2yr: Yuck... (Tough customers. Next time it’s on the house. πŸ™„)

Why Do I Love You?

4yr: Goodnight, Dada. Me: Goodnight, honey. Big hugs! Love you. Why do I love you sooo much! 4yr: Because I'm beautiful. Me: πŸ˜…

A Super Family

Sophia has invented superhero names and powers for each of us: Daddy is Money Man. I can make any amount of money appear in my hands at will. Mommy is Wow Woman. She can do a bunch of things at the same time so well that everyone says "Wow!" (Laura: So, like, what I already do now?) Thalia is Grape Girl. She turns people into grapes, and she can shoot bad guys with her grape seed gun. Freya is Bubble Girl who can put people in unpoppable bubbles that only she can pop. And Sophia is Candy Mandy. She shoots hard candies at bad guys, ties them up in licorice, and sticks them to walls with sticky taffy. Freya suddenly starts crying loudly because Thalia just turned her into a grape and won't turn her back to normal. Mommy tells her to go tell Daddy about it. He'll take care of it. Wow, Laura. Just. Wow. (She really is amazing 😘) Anyone looking for a superfamily to stop crime?

Thalia’s Bunchems Hair Problem

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Little sister stuck a crown of plastic burrs in big sister’s hair. What’s your favorite easy and painless trick for Daddy to pull them out before Mommy gets home from work?... We did it!

The Apostrophe Catastrophe

A’s a teacher of Engli’sh ‘standard’s, I’m plea’sed to witne’s’s on ‘social media the ‘sudden demi’se of the po’s’se’s’sive apo’strophe rule of adding both an apo’strophe and an ‘s at the end of word’s to form po’s’se’s’sive noun‘s. To ‘stay a ‘step ahead of the’se ‘shifting punctuation trend’s, I’m te’sting a new alway’s inclu’sive apo’strophe ‘s ‘standard to be a’s’se’s’sed by other pa’s’sive aggre’s’sive grammarian’s among’st u’s. Ble’s’s our ever lovin’ heart’s! 😜

Knock Knock Jokes (in the car)

4yr: Knock, knock. 2yr: Come in. 4yr: No, you have to say “Who’s there?” 2yr: Who’s there? 4yr: Chicken. Why did the chicken cross the road? 2yr: Because the chicken wants to cross the road to eat the grass up. 4yr: No, because the chicken wanted to go to a restaurant to eat dinosaurs! Hahaha! 2yr: Hahaha! 4yr: Knock, knock. 2yr: Come in. 4yr: No, you have to say “Who’s there?” 2yr: Who’s there? 4yr: Thalia. Why did Thalia cross the road? 2yr: Because Thalia wanted to go to the museum, but she had to wait for Mommy and Daddy to cross the road so she doesn’t get hit by the cars! 4yr: No, because she wanted to go to a restaurant to eat chicken. Hahaha! 2yr: Hahaha!  4yr: Knock, knock. 2yr: Come in! 4yr: No, you have to say “Who’s there?”  2yr: OK, knock on my door again. 4yr: Knock, knock. 2yr: Come in! 4yr: Noooo! 2yr: Knock, knock. 4yr: Who’s there? 2yr: Why did the chicken want to cross the road? 4yr: The chicken wanted to eat grass? 2yr: Yes, the chicken wanted to eat grass! Hahaha!

Delirious

Early this morning, my 8-year-old was complaining in Spanish about her sisters, demanding that I get rid of bugs, and worrying about the quality of her chocolate desserts...  She was clearly feverish and delirious. After a visit to Urgent Care, she’s feeling much better. Thank goodness!  We’re chuckling now because she has no memory of acting like a contestant on a Netflix dessert show and insisting that I not eat her. 😜 I pray that you too can celebrate good health and good times with family and friends on this first day of February. Salud! πŸŽ‰πŸ₯³πŸŽ‰