Rozey Thorn Trees

4yr: Daddy, look what I drew! It says “scary” and ”beautiful.” See? Me: 😱 Uh, that’s actually pretty scary!

Me: The candle flame represents Jesus Christ the light of the world, but please don't accidentally light your long hair on fire. 8yr: 😒 (It was a special battery-free Christmas Eve flame. I was slightly nervous. But no probs. 😊)

4yr: I'm just tired of all the Christmas songs! I want to hear songs about other things too! Me: Like what? 4yr: Uhh, washing machines cleaning my socks. Me: 🙃

What I said at the end of the school day: "Goodbye! Pray for a snow day!" What students heard me say: "We're probably going to have a snow day!" What teachers heard students say: "We're going to have a snow day!" What I heard teachers say: "Who's telling the students we're going to have a snow day?..." Me: Uhh...🤪

Me: May I have a kiss? 2yr: (nods no) Me: May I kiss your cheek? 2yr: (nods no) Me: May I say I love you? 2yr: (nods no) Me: May I say you're wonderful? 2yr: (nods no) Me: May I say I'm so happy that you're my daughter? 2yr: (nods no) Me: Is your candy cane yummy? 2yr: (nods yes) Me: Is it so sweet like you? 2yr: (nods yes) Me: Are you a happy girl? 2yr: (nods yes) Me: Do you love your Daddy? 2yr: (nods no) Me: Yes you do! I know you do! 2yr: (nods no) I sit quietly pouting waiting for her to finish crunching on her holiday treat... Me: Kiss? She plants a sticky, minty wet kiss on my cheek. Me: 😁

8yr: Do you know how we frustrate you so much when we're shopping? Me: Sometimes. 8yr: Well, don't worry. I just saw a mom over there with four boys, and they are so much worse than we are! 8yr: 😒 (I bet they're telling their mom the same thing about us! 😅)

Pretend shopping at the GR Children's Museum:  4yr: I'm buying things that Mommy would never buy! (Ice cream sandwiches, Krave Cereal, YooHoo chocolate drink... 😀)

Laura: What number is this? 4yr: 98. Laura: Yes. 4yr: Is that the number when you die? 😯 (Who knew preschool math could be such a downer?)

8yr: I know everything about everything. 4yr: I know you do. I just know everything about a lot of things. 8yr: Like what? 4yr: Trees. 8yr: What do you know about trees? 4yr: They have green leaves. 8yr: What else? 4yr: Uhhhh. 8yr: Do you know they make oxygen for humans to breathe and live? 4yr: Yes, I know that. I know everything about trees.... (I'm impressed. At 47, I know nothing about anything if my phone's not charged and connected. 🙄)

2yr: Daddy put me to bed. He a bad, bad man! (cue my villainous cackle 😜)

Student: I want you to come over to my house sometime. Even though you'll never use it in life, I'll teach you how to drive a combine. Me: That's fair. I teach you things you'll never use in life! 😜

At the Y while I'm lacing up my boots to go home, a young kid suddenly pops up and asks me a question: "Hi! Is there anything I can pray with you about?" Wow. That's bold of him. Do I look like I need prayer? Probably. I just finished a trek on a recumbent bicycle and am not my best self. What could he pray about? I'm not too good at pop quizzes. How about for world peace and against government corruption, global poverty, human trafficking, disease, famine... No, too intense. How about for healing of our national political divide and against social and economic exploitation born of pride, greed, fear, and hatred... No, still too much. He's a tweenager. Be cool. Stick to the personal, like for improved health and happiness and for my ambition to be a much better husband, father, teacher, neighbor, friend... Or maybe that I make smarter life goals that keep me from overdosing on Thanksgiving food and guilt-tripping myself back to the Y on a Sunday night to justi...