Special Delivery?!

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Laura: "Ooomph...I hope you're ready.
It's moving forward.
It's happening either today or tomorrow."
(Go ahead and place your bets, folks!...)

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Ritalin

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Me: Honey, I'm thinking about asking my doctor to prescribe me some Ritalin. Laura: YES! Me: Uh, wow. That was a bit enthusiastic. Laura: I mean yes, but just be careful because that stuff is a chemical and too much of that is not good for you. Me: What did you say?....
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My WFPB Diet — Day 250: The Weight of the Nation Series

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Egg McMuffins with a Side of Humble Pie

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We pull into a McDonald's drive thru for a late night snack on our drive back home from a holiday trip. I order Egg McMuffins with ham for everyone because they're cheaper and have fewer calories than cheeseburgers, and because Laura has never tried one before. In front of us is a car with a personalized license plate that says "PRINCESS" using a creative combination of letters and numbers. I laugh aloud and crack a lame joke about the chances that Royalty is placing an order on the royal credit card. When I pull up to the window to pay, the cashier says, "Don't worry about it. The lady in front of you paid for your order."  "What!"  "The lady in the car in front of you just paid for your order!"  "Wow, that's great!" I say, but m y face flushes red as I recall my judgmental comment. I glance over at my wife and say,  "If she only knew what I just said about her!"  I look up and catch the benevolent pr...
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