Rozey Thorn Trees

Me: Stay out of that locker. That's the lost-n-found. 4yr: What's the lost-n-found? Me: If you forget something at the Kid Zone, they'll put it in the lost-n-found for you to find again. 4yr: Can I play with this toy? Me: No, it's not ours. Put it back so the owner can find it again...Let's go! 4yr: Hey, that's Sophia's book! 8yr: My book!... (Indeed, there was Sophia's Action Bible... the graphic novel that she had lost several days before, that we had been searching for high and low, that I had fretted about paying library late fees for... It was found! Prepare the fatted calf! For tonight we shall feast! Thank you, Kid Zone, for having faith in us that we would return to reclaim that which had been lost.) Me: Now, for the last time, step away from the lost-n-found and let's go!

Friend: I'm writing a paragraph for school about my strongest qualities, like compassionate, punctual, communicative, creative, diligent, enthusiastic. Can you think of anything else? Me: That's a good list. Friend: Oh, a good listener! I like that. I'll add it to my list. Me: Uhh...😅

8yr: I can't stand my sisters! I wish we didn't have them! Me: It's probably too late to trade them in. I'll have to check our warranty. 8yr: Why do they always make me so mad! Aaaaagh! Me: You have an 8-year-old brain...You acted like them when you were their age. Your brain is more mature now. Did you know that seven is the age of reason? 8yr: I don't even know what the age of reason means! Me: It's the age when your brain can start to handle more complicated information in more logical and reasonable ways. 8yr: Look at me! Do I look like I have the age of reason!🤪 Me: Hahaha!... (She makes a rational point.😉)

8yr: I hope the Tooth Fairy comes tonight. Me: The Toot Fairy? 8yr: Haha! Tooth, not toot! Me: Tooth – I thought you said toot... 8yr: Hahaha! Me: ...Toot Fairy. 8yr: Hahahaha! I wish the Tooth Fairy gave money for toots! Me: Two dollars: Two for toots from the Toot Fairy. 8yr: HAHAHAHAHA! 😂 Great crowd, great crowd. I'm here all week... (8-year-olds are toot easy.😉)

Freya, our 2-year-old, has been extra demanding today: Freya: Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!... Laura: If you were to X-ray me, my nervous system would be frayed! Me: Do you mean Freya'd? Laura: Yes, Freya'd. 😏

Student: How much does a shot put weigh? Me: Google says 16 lbs. Student: How much is 16 lbs? Me: Well, a big newborn baby can weigh 8 lbs, so a shot put weighs about two big babies. Student: That sounds so wrong, haha! Me: 😅

8yr: Are you and Mommy going on a date tonight? Me: Yes. 8yr: Is it a romantic date? Me: Yes, our dates are romantic. 8yr: Yuck. Me: 🙄 8yr: Will you kiss each other? Me: I hope so. 8yr: Yuck! Me: So what if we do? 8yr: 😟😣😖Blechhh!... Me: That's a healthy response at your age. 😉

8yr: You're spending too much time looking at your phone and not playing with me. Me: Sorry, honey! You're right! Do you want a Daddy-Daughter date today? Just you and me? 8yr: Yes! Me: What do you want to do? 8yr: I don't know. Me: How about we look at my phone together? 8yr: Daddy! 😐 Me: Just kidding. Sorry. 😘